Lindy Boone — “My song, “Wordlayer,” speaks to anyone who has come to a point in their life where the unthinkable happens, and there is a sense that life will never be the same due to a tragedy and loss.”
Parents, Pat and Shirley (Foley) Boone. Your maternal grandfather, Red Foley, a country music pioneer and Grand Ole Opry star. Sisters, Cherry, Debby, and Laury.
In the 1970s, you joined together to record pop covers and several Christian albums (including the Grammy nominated First Class) as The Boone Girls. Married 38 years, three adult children. “One of the lessons through my journey was the idea that how you speak really matters to the trajectory of the next phase of your life.” Words, songs, have played an important part throughout your life. If you were creating a playlist of songs that have influenced your life, what would the top five be?
1. Anything by Cat Stevens (I can’t pick a favorite). He was on a Peace Train on The Road To Find Out that Morning Has Broken, and I had his music on all throughout my young life.
2. “The Dance” by Garth Brooks is early foreshadowing that some of our greatest joys leave us vulnerable to our deepest pain — it is best we live without seeing too far into the future.
3. “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack. This song came out when my son Ryan had just gotten engaged, my daughter Jessi was about to move to San Francisco, and all our lives were moving into the next chapter. This song said what I wanted to say to them.
4. “Standing On My Knees” by Sarah Kelly paints a picture of strength from a kneeling position. After my own shock of pain and grief, I heard this song and saw myself.
5. “joy.” For King and Country. I can’t sit still when this song begins, and I will end up dancing before it’s over. Joy is a choice, and I choose JOY!
March, Brain Injury Awareness Month. “On June 19, 2001, my son, Ryan Corbin, stepped through a skylight and fell three stories onto a cement floor. He was rushed to the hospital in extremely critical condition with multiple internal injuries, severe internal bleeding, and a serious brain injury. … “It was the start of a decade of teaching me through suffering. I had never suffered in my life. I’d had a charmed childhood — a wonderful life, and then thrust into a limbo of ‘Is he going to be with us? Is he not ever coming back? Is he going to be in a coma forever?’” What helps Ryan best navigate everyday challenges?
Ryan lives in the present moment. He is alert now and knows who he and we all are. He speaks easily and has a wonderful vocabulary. But he doesn’t realize the passing of time. We go to a movie, and he may clearly enjoy it, but by the time we’re going to the car, he doesn’t remember what we just saw. So, what helps him navigate everyday challenges?
First, he has three awesome caregivers with him throughout the week. He has a routine that is helpful to anyone with a traumatic brain injury. It’s good to have things be familiar since he won’t remember the last day, but over time, he will become used to a new person or therapy, so repetition is helpful.
Humor is big. He experiences pain in his body, and it’s often hard for us to know exactly what is causing it or how to help him, and we have surely tried. But if we have some funny show or movie on, or if his dad or my dad is around, they can make him laugh to the point of tears. It really takes his mind off what is bothering him. It helps me to think it can’t be that terrible if he can be distracted and laugh.
Mostly, what helps Ryan is the intangible effect of having people around who love him. He has lost a lot of what the world thinks makes life worthwhile, but this life with Ryan has taught me that we aren’t valuable because of what we do or have or what opinions people have of us. Our value is intrinsic, and Ryan knows our family, and I wildly love him for no reason other than that he’s lovable. I believe that creates a contented atmosphere; if you ask him, he’ll tell you he is very blessed!
2003. “I’ve witnessed firsthand the profound impact that traumatic brain injuries have on individuals and their loved ones. The mental, emotional, and financial struggles associated with caring for a family member or friend with TBI are extensive. In response, my family established Ryan’s Reach, a charitable organization dedicated to assisting families in caring for their loved ones affected by brain injuries.”
Recently Ryan’s Reach launched TBI Talk, a podcast for insights into brain injury recovery. What resources are available through Ryan’s Reach?
When we first started Ryan’s Reach, we mostly did fundraisers and then used the funds to support the High Hopes Head Injury Program — a day program in Tustin, CA. We were not raising money for Ryan because he received a settlement, and his needs were met. He attended and still attends High Hopes as a student, but we saw that by supporting High Hopes, we could buy a piece of therapy equipment, and nearly 100 brain injury survivors would utilize it, so we opted to begin that way.
Over time, Ryan’s Reach started turning funds into scholarships so that others could attend and take advantage of the programs and equipment there. We have offered 8–10 six-month scholarships continually over the past 18 years or so.
As we met more families in our situation, we realized that many were concerned about who would care for their loved ones as they got older and could no longer do the lifting and keep the unrelenting care schedule for them. We decided Ryan’s Reach should open a group home for TBI survivors, which in most places are very hard to come by. In 2016, we opened the first Ryan’s Reach R & R (Residence and Respite Care) group home in Tustin, CA. This home houses and cares for five full-time residents and hosts the occasional short-stay individual, giving their family a chance to “come up for air” (respite). We opened the second R & R group home in 2019 in Santa Ana, CA, where we have cared for four full-time residents.
In addition, we started a podcast recently called TBI Talk to reach out to people in areas other than Orange County, CA. When someone is hurt so badly that it leaves them with a brain injury, often the families are overwhelmed and feel like they don’t know where to turn. Of course, now people go to their computers and phones for podcasts, and we want to let these new families on this recovery road feel less alone. On TBI Talk, we will share stories that offer hope, encouragement, information, and resources. If a listener gets even one new piece of information they hadn’t heard before, one new idea that can lead them to hope and try something to help their loved one, we are filling a need.
My husband Mike, who is an attorney and who has been immensely helpful as Ryan’s conservator, decided to put a document on our website that itemizes a lot of practical steps one should consider taking when they have a loved one with a brain injury. He consolidated so much information that it took us a long time to get hold of and understand and put it all together in one place. We’ve already been told that this one heading on our website, “NEW TO BRAIN INJURY?” is a lifesaver for the new dad, mom, or spouse of a TBI survivor.
You kept a journal through the first year and a half which became a book, Heaven Hears, (2013).
“For Mother’s Day 2020, my daughter [Jessi] gave me an Airbnb songwriting experience with Nashville-based songwriter, Anne Buckle. Little did I know that this would blossom into something so special, and a beautiful song would come out of it.
I am grateful to Anne for working with me to express my feelings through music,
and a big thank you to my sisters for coming into the studio and singing it with me.” That song, “Wordlayer,” shows how your “lives were forever divided into two halves — before and after. And that’s the point, after loss there is rebirth, reinvention, new life, new beauty.”
Can you share how the song has helped others better understand the impact TBI has on families?
I don’t think that “Wordlayer” helps others better understand the impact TBI has on families other than I’ve been able to address that in interviews about the song because brain injury is the way I was brought to the end of myself and needed to seek a deeper spirituality to cope with my new day to day existence. That really is what “Wordlayer” is about.
When someone you love has a brain injury, they change in subtle ways, or they can become entirely different, and in the saddest cases, they are left in a vegetative state. The stress and anxiety are enormous, and it’s a roller coaster of highs and lows for a long time after TBI for the survivors and for the families. It can cost you everything financially, and it can cost you a marriage from the stress of it all. This is all true of people in the brain injury community, but “Wordlayer” isn’t specifically about TBI.
My song, “Wordlayer,” speaks to anyone who has come to a point in their life where the unthinkable happens, and there is a sense that life will never be the same due to a tragedy and loss. The day my world stood still was when Ryan stepped on a skylight that broke beneath him, and among many injuries, he incurred a serious brain injury. There are so many other ways people’s lives come to a screeching halt, and for a while, you are in shock, then you gradually begin to understand that life as you knew it is gone. You don’t know if you will ever get back to that life, and the realization of that can be paralyzing.
The families of TBI survivors will relate to the song I wrote, but I feel strongly that this song can move and touch most people because if you live long enough, the horrible, difficult events of life don’t just happen to someone else, they happen to you. So, how do we meet these painful moments?
When a moment like this comes to your door, you have choices to make, and how you respond depends on those choices.
The message of my song is that the words we speak matter all the time, especially when we’re tempted to despair. The words we say impact the people around us, but sometimes, the words we say to ourselves are the most important. Each word not only holds meaning but energy, and when we speak intentionally, we can co-create the next chapter of our lives.
I’m a Christian, and I know there are many Biblical principles I was raised with that come to mind regarding this subject. But when I was writing this song, I was reaching out beyond the bounds of my Christian faith to anyone who suspects that this life is not all there is and there may be a Creator with a capital “C” even if they haven’t come to align with a particular faith. I love how AA talks about a “higher power” because they don’t want a person’s negative experience in the past in church or with someone judgmental toward them to cause them to miss the principles of life that lead to health, accountability and positive change. I don’t want people to miss the big message of “Wordlayer” if they are seekers of truth, and they may close their ears if this song is labeled a Christian song. I think it’s a universal message offering hope to everyone.
The truth I’m pointing out is that whether we realize it or not, we are creators, too. Our words will change our lives, so why not speak hope instead of despair, healing instead of pain or sickness? Why not speak about what we are grateful for even in the midst of so much we wish hadn’t happened? How will our lives look different if we do this? My conviction is that our words are the seeds and go down into the dark places, and we don’t know when, but they will grow into something. My experience is that a beautiful life can not only emerge out of dark places but can multiply and feed hungry souls.
Fitness instructor. Self-care is so important in being available to help others. What are the best exercises someone can start with to develop an individual program to find balance in their own lives?
My dad used to go to the gym every day and regularly went out jogging around our Beverly Hills home. I think I started running with him often when I was about 12. I got in the habit early of taking an exercise class in Westwood, and I never looked back. I’ve been a gym rat ever since. Eventually, I realized I would like to be the one in the front of the room, getting paid something and choosing the music! Teaching classes also meant I had to show up!
I exercise to reduce stress, burn calories, and stay healthy. The best exercise someone can start with is what they will enjoy and be consistent with. If you hate running, it may not be the best choice. If you love hiking, do that! If you enjoy spinning, find an instructor who plays music that motivates you, and do that!
I think it’s a good idea to work out most days for the consistency part. Then, so you don’t get bored, find more than one thing to do that you enjoy. Mix it up. It’s good for your mind to have variety, and your body should do more than one exercise. Do something sweaty most of the time (spinning, running, fast walking, pickle ball, or Zumba, for example). Still, doing a delicious yoga class or focusing on strengthening with weights some days (pilates, dumbbells, weight machines, stability balls) is fine.
Also, change up the duration. You don’t have to work out for an hour every time. Sometimes, you have a busy day; do 30 minutes, but don’t just decide you don’t have time. Get up a little earlier and shorten the duration but fit something in. Then always take at least one or two days off a week. Our bodies need recovery time too.
Lindy Boone: